If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for them to know.Ģ8. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”Ģ7. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”Ģ6. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?Ģ5. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?Ģ4. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. What roles do love and affection play in your life?Ģ2. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?Ģ1. What do you value most in a friendship?ġ9. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?ġ6. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?ġ5. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?ġ4. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?ġ3. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.ġ2. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?ġ1. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?ġ0. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.ĩ. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?Ĩ. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?ħ. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?Ħ. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?ĥ. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?Ĥ. Would you like to be famous? In what way?ģ. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?Ģ. The 15-minute periods ensure that you spend an equivalent amount of time at each level of self-disclosure).ġ. (Note: Each set of questions is designed to be more probing than the previous one. After 15 minutes on Set II, spend 15 minutes on Set III.Then spend 15 minutes on Set II, following the same system. After 15 minutes, move on to Set II, even if you haven’t yet finished the Set I questions.Each person should answer each question, but in an alternating order, so that a different person goes first each time. For 15 minutes, take turns asking one another the questions in Set I below.Find a time when you and your partner have at least 45 minutes free and are able to meet in person.Before trying it, make sure both you and your partner are comfortable with sharing personal thoughts and feelings with each other. Although this exercise has a reputation for making people fall in love, it is actually useful for anyone you want to feel close to, including family members, friends, and acquaintances. It could be someone you know well or someone you’re just getting to know. Identify someone with whom you’d like to become closer.
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